catsuggest:

scarhaver:

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

salty-red-mage:

Everyone on Tumblr rn

fartgallery:

boss: i need you to come do something

me: this is so cryptic what the fuck

boss: you cant keep saying that to get out of work

me: im shaking what does this mean

thatgirlwiththememes:

libertarirynn:

toastyhat:

shakespork:

wierdrocks:

killerkitty707:

“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

But it’s just as fast

one giveth and one taketh away

#…one yoinketh and one yeeteth away - @5qui99l3

cerulean-rambles:

zilliumgrist:

circus-circuitry:

zilliumgrist:

when you need to pay respects

Wh… where’s the time signature?

are u telling me u need a time signature to play 1 note for a joke post

Um yes? If you’re gonna pay respects you gotta do it right

elizarumm:

one-time-i-dreamt:

A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.

that’s a goddamned power move

followthebluebell:

kleppy02:

followthebluebell:

fimbry-talks:

Love when my cat flings himself into the air after a toy, but he has no style. Straight up ragdoll physics.

One day i want to take a video of Yardstick straight-up hurling himself into the void. Cats have no conception that there is a future. There is just now and the jingly toy.

Your cat’s name is Yardstick?

He has three feet.